What I mean by "Your server and you" is that as a guest you should fully understand what your server is capable of. Before anyone gets any ideas, I should say that I've never, and will never participated in anything like what was on display in the infamous "revenge" scene in the movie "Waiting". Not to say I haven't had guests who deserved it.
What servers are capable however is manipulating your experience from both a monetary and enjoyment standpoint. I can easily save a table 5-10 dollars depending on what they order with absolutely zero fraud. It's all about tricks in systems that allow us to take care of more cooperative tables. Now it goes without saying that a server will not go out of their way to refill a rude tables drinks, or make sure they are completely satisfied (some people never are), but it may come as a surprise to you that we lowly waiters/bartenders can also hit the worst people in their wallets. We have to find someway to jack up that 10% tip.